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If Bad Things Come In Threes, What’s Next? + Lee’s take on CEC, LEH, DIS, GOOG, EBAY, WMT, KR, and XOM.

 

 
 


InvestorsObserver Featured Contributor
Lee M. Allen






They say bad things come in threes. Three hurricanes in a row; three big losses at the Las Vegas gaming tables; and three of your best friend’s weddings – to three different women over less than three years.  And he met all three at Chuck E. Cheese (CEC). 

The three occurrences might even have some kind of strange connection. Over the last week we witnessed another one of these mysterious three occurrences.

They lit up the huge Super-Duper Collider in Switzerland, Lehman Brothers (LEH) filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, and something I have been talking about for years has finally broke out into a near mass hysteria.

Yes, you read it here first two years ago… I warned the world. And now they even have a name for this terrible assault on us Americans…  And it has nothing to do with a certain mega-insurance company that needs a bailout with more money than the gross national product of most countries around the world.


Available only at the Super Collider gift shop.
Could this be what really zapped Lehman Brothers?


Read on
for Lee’s insights into three recent events in the news and how they may be related…

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My grandmother really believed in this thing about how bad occurrences come in threes. Maybe that’s the reason all her living room furniture was covered in nearly bulletproof industrial-strength clear plastic, which she dutifully covered with a layer of towels, then topped off with large blankets. 


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I knew there was furniture in Grandma’s living room, but I was never sure just what color the fabric was until the day I decided to check under the top two layers and get a look at what was really under there.  Silent alarms must have gone off because Grandma was on me in less than three seconds, and I was forbidden from going into the living room until I was thirty years old.  And even then only when she was there as a chaperone.

Grandma took this three bad occurrences thing very seriously. One time, after she broke a cup, she went to a box of old garage sale castoff kitchenware meant for just such an occasion. She selected two pieces, and then broke them. Things came in threes and, by breaking two worthless pieces, she would save something more precious from certain doom.

On the subject of certain doom…

Somewhere, buried three hundred feet beneath the ground, in a little mountainous area spanning Switzerland and France, they built a seventeen-mile race track for subatomic particles much smaller than the width of an armpit hair. Just to see what will happen, a bunch of so-called scientists plan on shooting a few of these particles at each other at just below the speed of me heading for the office door at 4:59PM.

Smart people were waiting for the world to get sucked into a huge black hole when they flipped the switch on this thing last Wednesday. Well, we’re still here so they probably flipped the “Microwave Popcorn” switch instead of the “Create Black Hole” switch. The Super-Collider user manual told them which switch, but who reads those things anyway? Do you think there is a toll-free help line for the Super-Collider? “Hello, my name is Radgi. What is the serial number on your Super-Collider please? I am dedicated to make you perfect happy today.”

This Super-Collider really starts sounding like some James Bond villain scheme when you realize they spent fourteen years and $8 billion to build it. $8 billion! Think of all the schools or hospitals they could have built instead. That’s enough money to put one of those super-cheap computers in every home in Africa.

Or they could have used that $8 billion to bail out some poor misguided Wall Street investment bank.

Which brings us to Lehman Brothers…

Actually, a few years ago, Lehman Brothers relocated from Wall Street to the Broadway area of New York City, but calling them a Broadway investment bank just doesn’t sound right. The new


Europe as seen from space just after the Super-Collider was turned on.
Now you know why the Euro has been dropping in valu

location may be good for some of those guys who have picked up multi-million dollar bonuses for the last decade, but now find themselves out of work. Maybe they can sing and dance. Disney (DIS) is always looking for new talent since taking over Broadway. Who knows, maybe they’re working on “Lehman Brothers, The Musical” now that they have run High School Musical into the ground. They can probably buy the Lehman Brothers naming rights cheap on eBay (EBAY).

On the subject of cheap and getting less for more money…


A Super-Collider technical support agent on his way to work

When you have a few extra minutes, Google (GOOG) the term “short-sizing.”

I brought up this assault on the American way of life a few years ago. I watched both the Democratic and Republican conventions, and no one said a thing. In the meantime, just about every man, woman, child and pet are being affected by this short-sizing phenomenon. This is where most every item down at Wal-Mart (WMT) or wherever you shop is now in smaller packages at the same old high prices. 

Think of all the extra fuel being wasted for more trips to the Kroger (KR) because you mistakenly only bought one carton of ice cream and now that carton holds 25% less.


What if your boss decided to short-size and cut your pay by 25%? If my boss ever watched how much I actually work, he might just do that. Luckily, it’s about time for me to start my holiday Internet shopping. When he sees me working on my computer, he always thinks I’m writing my next hot article.

What if your kid’s school decided to short-size and cut the number of days down by 25%? They would go back to school in late October and summer vacation would start in late March. Wouldn’t that be fun for everyone? Spelling, arithmetic, and science knowledge would all be considered quaint things people used to learn back in the old days of a nine-month school year. Hopefully by the end of 8th grade, kids would be able to sign their names and count to ten. The really smart ones would be reciting their ABC’s and will have heard about a guy named Abraham Lincoln.

What if gas stations decided to keep the prices the same but give you only three quarts of gas instead of four? Let’s keep this one between me and you. We don’t want to give the guys at Exxon-Mobile (XOM) any ideas.

What if my articles were 25% shorter?  Then this would be the

EDITORS NOTE: This week’s Lee Allen article has been short-sized.

If you have seen an egregious short-sizing, please email me at LeeAllen@InvestorsObserver.com.

FREE Market Smart 10% Hedged Service until October 9th

See winning trades in up, down & flat markets on stocks
you know:
McDonald’s (MCD), Amazon.com (AMZN), John
Deere (DE) and more — all with 10% downside protection.

We’ve generated 54.29% annualized returns and August is
another exciting month with a couple of trades that are
keeping us busy

Test our September trades FREE —
sign up for the FREE trial now.